If you’re getting your gay nutrition advice from TikTok, you might think the ideal diet for a bottom is a bowl of ice cubes—or better yet, nothing at all.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. “You should be eating. When you’re a bottom, your digestion is going to be something to keep in mind of course, but it doesn’t mean to not eat,” says Tim Lagman, resident sex educator at the lube brand pjur.
In fact, eating regularly can make sex better, not worse, as a bottom, Lagman says. Going into sex hungry isn’t going to help you feel relaxed, and a healthy diet can encourage regular bowel movements that keep you cleaned out, maybe even without douching.
If it sounds too good to be true, don’t just take it from me: sex educators and doctors alike agree that a balanced diet, with lots of fibre and protein, is the key to having pleasurable sex as a bottom. And that diet is not all that revolutionary. “It’s no different than just healthy living,” says Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, a sexual health practice, and Future Method, a brand of science-backed sex products.
If you’re wondering how to make your diet more bottom-friendly—without compromising your health—here’s what you need to know.
Fibre is your friend
The best thing you can do for your bottom-friendly diet is increase your fibre intake.
“Most people don’t take enough fibre,” Goldstein says.
Fibre is crucial because it helps keep your bowel movements more regular and acts as a bulking agent, translating to well-formed stools that are easy to pass, according to Lagman and Goldstein.
It might sound counterintuitive, but as a bottom your goal isn’t to stop your digestion, but to keep it moving. You want consistent, normal poops—and fibre helps you get there, says Zachary Zane, sex and relationships expert for Velvet Brands.
If you want to eat more fibre, start with natural food sources like vegetables (green peas, broccoli and potatoes work well), fruit ( such as raspberries, apples and oranges) and legumes (think lentils, black beans or chia seeds). If you notice that the quality of your stool is still not optimal, you can consider adding a supplement.
While the Mayo Clinic says it’s best to get most of your fibre from foods, which also contain vitamins, minerals and other nutrients, it’s perfectly safe to take a daily fibre supplement as well. (Those with digestive problems or Crohn’s disease, however, should consult their doctor first). Goldstein, whose company offers one such supplement, says most people would need to take it consistently for about three weeks before they can make a call on whether it’s working, or if they need to adjust: if your stools are still not looking great, maybe you need more fibre; but if you’re constipated, you might have overdone it.
Experts also suggest eating lean proteins, such as sushi or chicken, in tandem with fibre. Lagman says it’s important to stay hydrated in your day-to-day life to support good digestion and easy bowel movements, and Goldstein promotes smaller and more frequent meals that are weighted earlier in the day, to avoid feeling bloated or gassy, on days you’re prepping for bottoming.
There are also some foods you might want to avoid: fatty and fried foods can impact your digestion, as can things heavy with dairy, Zane says. But you’ll also want to pay attention to what agrees with you, specifically.
Learn your body’s rhythms
To that point, none of this advice is one size fits all. “Water and fibre alone does not a healthy bottom make,” says Lagman.
Beyond those basics, you need to understand the quirks of your own body. You can dial in the foods that work best for you: maybe coffee is something that makes you need to go immediately, or maybe it’s something that keeps you more regular. Certain foods might make you feel more bloated, while others might leave you feeling lighter and more relaxed—all the better for bottoming.
“Bottoming isn’t just a position, it really is a lifestyle,” Zane says.
Banish the bottom shame
You can do all of this perfectly—diet, hydration, supplements, the works—and still have an occasional accident while bottoming.
“Guess what? Shit happens. Accidents happen. We’re all adults here, so get some baby wipes and move on. Grow up. If you can’t handle shit, you’re not mature enough to have anal sex,” Lagman says.
Zane echoes this point. Anyone who shames you for a little fecal matter during anal is the real asshole, he says. You can strive to be clean, but you won’t ever be in full control.
Put another way, you don’t need to organize your entire life around bottom-friendly eating. Do what makes you feel comfortable in your body (which, as a result, will make you feel more confident bottoming), but don’t let it tip over into obsession or shame.
“Keep it simple,” Goldstein says. “Don’t make too many changes at once.”
